Menopause - is a subject in which every woman will become very well versed. I am one of those women; just me, a person that has gone through the tunnel of menopause and come out the other end. I’m not a doctor, therapist or health care provider of any kind. I am merely someone that took control of the symptoms and my experiences naturally and without dread. How many uplifting articles have you read lately on the subject of menopause? There is plenty of text written on whether or not to take HRT, is soy good for you, and many more topics from the medical field. This journey of menopause doesn’t have a horrible experience. I actually didn’t even really discuss menopause with any doctor. I chose to go through this time embracing what life and this body were showing me; learning and growing as I went along. If this sounds like a Pollyanna attitude, trust me, there were days I didn’t feel like learning anything from this new milestone of my life, but I believe that there are reasons for everything that happens to us and this was part of what I was to know. I also believe what we resist grows stronger, so ladies why fight it? Wrap your arms around this time and let Menopause University begin.
I experienced the normal symptoms you read about such as hot flashes, trouble sleeping, drier skin and a foggy brain. There were more symptoms too but I choose to think about the good things that came from this time of my life. I had a very early menopause so I guess I needed a jump start into my learning process. I chose to honor the symptoms for what they were; a right of passage I deserved as a woman in her 40’s. We have things to learn and things to teach from those that have gone before and those that will come after us. If we are wise, we will embrace the changes to our bodies and let our souls do more talking.
All of my menopausal years were of great change and transformation. I moved to a different state, met a wonderful man, went through intense career changes, and I asked a lot of questions of myself and my God. This was a time I let my true self open up and be expressed. My early years were spent working as most of you are doing, but never being truly happy or fulfilled. I liked my jobs, but they were always a little empty. I was searching for more of who I was. During menopause I took classes to become certified in Aromatherapy and Feng Shui. I loved the work and created a successful consulting practice assisting other people with their personal journeys.
One of the other gifts of menopause has been a renewed creativity that has blossomed as the years passed; but I yearned for more knowledge, instruction and yes; talent. I wanted to create things and let the colors in my head be brought to life. I loved working with fabrics, paint, beads and thread; creating collages of materials, quilting and blending colors and patterns together into something beautiful. I allowed myself the pleasure of the moment; feeling the work in my hands instead of just going through the motions. I also allowed the time to let the creativity flow even if a piece was just for me and no one else.
During this same time I was irresistibly drawn to old rusty cast off things; things that had no use to anyone but me. I grew up on a farm and there were a lot of those things out in the pasteur just going to seed. I loved making new functional and beautiful objects out of the old in ways no one would have ever thought. There was an intense satisfaction about taking a piece of rusty wire and turning it into a lovely angel or wreath. The rust was a big part of the beauty; showing it’s age and how it had weathered in the wind and rain. Some say this is just recycling or repurposing, I would say it was a metaphor for my life. Some days my rust shows a little more than other days, but there is a new repurposing for my life. Physical things or “energy” can never be destroyed, just changed to a different form. I am making that change as well. I am constantly growing and I hope learning from this experience. I have met menopause head on and said “let’s go, show me the way”. I want to see what there is to see during the second half of my life. I’m not done expressing and creating, in fact I am just on the edge of what there is to do, to make, to feel, and to see.
If you are reading this article, you are probably going through or approaching menopause yourself. As a graduate of Menopause University, I would say that you too can embrace menopause with gusto and let it teach you what you need to know in this lifetime. Resist the temptations to mask and shut down what the body is showing you. Trust your instincts and allow your many gifts to come through, maybe for the first time in your life. Don’t stop searching until you feel like you are doing what you truly want to do, something embedded in your soul. Listen to your heart and you too can be a graduate of Menopause University - with honors.
Beverly Marshall is a successful freelance writer, certified Aromatherapist and Feng Shui consultant. Her many articles offer guidance, suggestions and common sense ideas to change your life. If you are interested in products and information regarding alternative medicine, natural remedies, healthy lifestyles and more; her many articles can be found online.
Lately I’ve found myself wondering just what kind of junk mail existed before the daily avalanche of penis enlargement fodder. Every day, without fail, messages like ‘Increase your member’ and ‘Three inches in a week!’ or ‘Satisfy her!’ land in my junk box. Not to mention some of the more absurd ones: ‘Smash through walls with your massive dong!’ or ‘Missile in your pants!’
It’s endless. And it’s not limited to junk mail either - the entire net is strewn with ads for pills, cremes, powders and techniques to make you ‘the man you’ve always wanted to be’; the pages of every sex-rag out there - as well as numerous ‘high-brow’ men’s magazines - are littered with them. ‘Give her the gift she’s always wanted!’
All this really got me to thinking. Are there men out there who really DO want a missile in their pants? And how far is too far? I mean, at what point do things leave the realm of pleasure and enter the absurd - is there such a thing as TOO big? Mystified, I decided to do a little research and find out once and for all.
Despite all the humour, there is a very real undercurrent to this topic that dates back longer than any one of us can imagine. If there is one issue that is of nearly universal concern to all men (and women), it’s this. The last thing any male wants is to come up short - literally - in that department. As with breast size for women, this topic is under never-ending scrutiny in the media. Shows like ‘Sex And The City’ and ‘Ally McBeal’, which have depicted women crying in bed and leaving their lovers over inadequate penis size, only add to the furor. How else could a billion-dollar enlargement industry continue to grow and thrive?
It hasn’t always been this way. Although surely somewhat of a concern from the very beginnings of civilized culture, we’ve survived. Size has nothing to do with whether or not the parts work correctly - it’s merely an issue of aesthetics, and pleasure. Only in the last thirty-five years has it reached the level of omnipotent urgency we see today - everything has to be bigger, better, hotter, stronger…
In the seventies we saw the penis-pump come to light. Not openly spoken of, ordered by teenagers and lonely men from the backs of mattress-magazines and destined to end up collecting dust in the corner of the closet, they’re basically considered a relic today. In the eighties we began to hear a little about something called ‘traction’, rightly deserving of it’s S&M image-provoking name. This is a process by which you lengthen your penis by hanging weights from it for prolonged periods of time. Enough said.
It wasn’t until the mid nineties that we began seeing ads for things such as pills and solutions, and penile surgery, known as phalloplasty, was a commonly known technique. Then of course there’s ‘jelqing’, the so-called ‘natural and ancient’ manner of enlargement which basically consists of fifteen-minute daily sessions during which you repeatedly squeeze your penis as if it were a freezie that you were trying force the last drops of juice from.
As far as I could find, there is no scientific evidence to support the notion that any of these techniques really work. On the contrary, some of the side effects are down-right frightening, ranging from burst blood vessels to blisters to scarring, deformity, infection and even impotence. In the case of the pills, analyses performed by the University of Maryland and Flora Research of California have uncovered harmful contaminants including mold, yeast, E. Coli, pesticides, and lead, not to mention “heavy fecal contamination”. (Michael Donnenburg - U of Maryland.)
Is all of this really worth it? How many ’small’ penises are actually out there and - here we come to it - what actually constitutes ’small’ and ‘large’?
Putting aside personal preferences for a moment, lets look at the statistics. According to Wikipedia, several studies have been conducted regarding the length of the fully erect adult penis. Amusingly enough, “those studies that relied on self-measurement consistently reported a higher average than those that had staff take the measurements.”
Out of five separate studies from different parts of the world, the average length was between 5.1 and 6.1 inches. When it comes to girth, the average out of four separate studies was a lot closer - between 4.7 and 5.0 inches in circumference.
So, how does that sound to everyone? Correct? And, if so, good enough? Or has nature cut us all short on this one, being more concerned with the mechanisms of reproduction than the intricacies of pleasure?
Appararently, according to some women, certain men can be too big. What? Too big? Who ever heard of such a thing! Don’t be ridiculous. More is better, remember?
This brings to mind another fascinating issue. I am not an avid porn watcher, but I’ve done my share and seen some eye-opening things in my time. When it comes to the extremely well-endowed male (9 to 12 inches), I’ve often wondered exactly how it is that the women in these movies are able to take that much. As far as I knew, the cervix simply dosen’t leave enough room for someone like John holmes to get all the way in - so what, exactly, is happening?
After a little research the answer became clear. Unlike the penis, which is fairly simple, the vagina is an extremely complex piece of biological machinery. (Kinda like their owners!) Women are capable of having four different types of orgasm: vulval (clitoral), vaginal (g-spot), uterine (epicentre), and blended, the latter being any combination of the prior three. Researchers have also apparently found another hot-spot inside the vagina recently, known as the ‘Anterior Fornix Erotic’, or ‘AFE Zone’.
Now, if the vagina is a complex piece of machinery, then female orgasm, as one site put it, is an extrememly complex phenomenon. I’m not going to get into all the details here, but the one thing I did learn is that the vagina, which is capable of expanding to a size large enough to deliver an infant, is capable of accomodating nearly any size of penis. The key? Foreplay. The more physiologically aroused a woman is the more the vaginal walls - which are normally touching - will dilate, and the deeper inside the cervix will ascend. When a man thrusts in at a certain angle, the cervix, along with the entire uterus is stimulated either from the top or bottom, eventually enabling the uteral - or ‘epicentre’ - orgasm. However, you apparently have to be at least seven inches or more to achieve this, with the ideal length being nine inches.
Of course, there are certain physiological limitations - as with penis size, some women are naturally much ‘deeper’ than others. An extremely petite woman, for example, is simply not going to be able to accommodate a full twelve inches, no matter how deep her cervix may ascend.
However, given the above information, it would still seem that nature has reserved certain pleasures for the more well-endowed man. Is this fair? Of course not, but then, whoever said life itself was?
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